ADHD & Avoidance: Why You’re Not Lazy, You’re Hiding From the Hard Stuff

Before you blame yourself for procrastinating again… this is the hidden ADHD reason we avoid the important stuff (and how to break free).

Hello ADHD Brains,

You know that thing you've been meaning to do?

Yeah — that one.

The task that’s been sitting there… watching you scroll TikTok, clean your room, reorganize your phone apps, stare at the wall.

You’re not avoiding it because you're lazy.

You're avoiding it because your brain thinks it’s dangerous.

Like quite literally, your brain see’s it as a big scary monster.

Let’s talk about ADHD and avoidance.

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The Avoidance Loop (Why You Keep Pushing Stuff Off)

Avoidance is one of the most common and most misunderstood — ADHD symptoms. It’s not just about procrastination. It’s a nervous system response to perceived threat.

Key word there - Perceived.

More about this word later.

Your ADHD brain sees that task and instantly feels:

• Overwhelmed by how many steps it takes

• Afraid you’ll fail if you try (This is the big one)

• Uncertain where to start

• Bored to tears just thinking about it

• Or... all of the above

So what happens?

You avoid it.
You distract yourself.
You wait until the last possible second and then panic-move.
Or you don’t do it at all — and feel like trash for it.

Sound familiar?

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Avoidance Is Emotional, Not Logical

This isn’t just a productivity issue. It’s an emotional regulation issue.

Your brain isn’t putting things off because they’re hard — it’s putting them off because they feel bad.

Tasks that trigger:

• Shame (“I should have done this already”)

• Guilt (“I promised I’d get this done”)

• Fear (“What if I mess this up?”)

• Boredom (“This is so pointless”)

• Confusion (“I don’t even know where to begin”)

…all get flagged as dangerous by your ADHD brain.

So, to protect you, your brain chooses the easiest dopamine hit instead. Something comforting. Something safe.

And that’s how ADHD avoidance becomes a cycle.

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The ADHD Avoidance Cycle

1. See the task

2. Feel overwhelmed or triggered

3. Avoid it to feel safe

4. Feel guilt or shame for not doing it

5. Now it feels even harder to face

6. Repeat

This is why beating yourself up doesn't work.

This is why I preach about grace over shame.

Because the more shame you feel about avoiding it...
…the more you avoid it.

Its a vicious cycle.

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So What Actually Helps?

Here’s what I’ve found works — not perfectly, but consistently enough to build momentum:

1. Name what you’re avoiding and why

Most of the time, we’re not even fully conscious of our avoidance.
So ask:

“What task am I avoiding right now — and what emotion is making me avoid it?”

Shame? Fear? Confusion?
Naming it gives you power over it.

2. Break it down to a micro-step

Not “clean the kitchen” — just “put one plate away.”
Not “reply to all emails” — just “open inbox.”
Your brain resists big tasks. Shrink them down so tiny they can’t be rejected.

(But don’t overwhelm yourself with 8 million steps, just make it 3 mini moves you can do)

3. Set a 5-minute action timer

Tell yourself, “I’ll do it for 5 minutes, then I can stop.”
(You usually don’t stop.) and if you do? Well that is 5 minutes of work you didn’t have done before. WELL DONE.

4. Pair it with something enjoyable

Music, a podcast, a timer race, a body double — use dopamine to your advantage.

I often find even putting up a body double YouTube video does the job aswell.

5. Forgive yourself — even if you avoid it again

Avoidance is not a moral failure.
It’s a coping mechanism your nervous system has been using for years.
Healing takes practice.

Changes wont happen overnight, so please give yourself grace.

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The ADHD Avoidance Rescue Plan

Would you like a done-for-you ADHD Avoidance Rescue Plan?

✅ ADHD-proof task breakdown template
✅ My 5-minute activation routine
✅ "Name & Reframe" script to catch avoidance in real-time
✅ Bonus: voice note walk-through to calm the spiral

→ That’s all inside the Premium version of this post

👉 Unlock it by clicking Subscribe below.

(paid subscribers only - Free subscribers click upgrade to unlock the reset ritual premium post)

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Final Thoughts

Avoidance doesn’t mean you don’t care.
It means your brain is protecting you — often in the worst possible way.

But here’s the good news:

You can interrupt the cycle.
You can retrain your brain.
And you can get things done — not through shame, but through support.

Start small.
Show compassion.
And don’t wait for motivation — create motion.

You’ve got this.

💌 So If you found value in todays newsletter and want more ADHD tips and motivation straight to your inbox? Hit subscribe ITS FREE! to stay in the loop with strategies designed for ADHD minds.

Faith Anchor

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
— 2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV)

You don’t have to “fix” your avoidance before coming to God.

He already sees it.
He sees the spirals.
The shutdowns.
The guilt after a day of doing nothing.

And He’s not disappointed.

He’s present.

Right there in the weakness — not after you overcome it.
That’s where His power meets you. That’s where grace flows.

You don’t need to be strong to start.
You just need to come back — again and again.
His grace is enough even now.

Question for you?

What’s one task you keep avoiding — and what emotion do you think is really behind it? (Shame? Fear? Overwhelm? Boredom? Something else?)

I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below — let’s figure it out together.

Thanks for reading!

Have an amazing week!

Luke

ADHDInsights

P.S. If this helped you feel seen, chances are it’ll help someone else too. Feel free to forward it to a friend or share it on socials — that’s how this little ADHD corner keeps growing. Appreciate you big time.

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